Meowth, Persian

The only Pokemon that speaks English.

Or Japanese… or Spanish, or who knows.

And if I had one simple little wish

I’d not give that gift to his friends nor foes.

—-

To speak English, other P-mon cannot. 

That is unless you count the great Mewtwo,

And Arceus, and Shaymin, and Chatot,

And Lugia, and Lucario, too.

—-

And Hoopa, and the Rotom Pokedex,

And Pikachu’s one line from “I Choose You”.

And Mewtwo’s army of the Genesects,

And don’t forget Detective Pikachu.

—-

Meowth is special. He’s the only one.

(Plus Entei, and Darkrai, and Volcanion.)

Pidgey, Pidgeotto, Pidgeot

This Pokémon is just a fucking bird.

And all its moves are things real birds can do.

‘Cause seriously, who has ever heard

Of people who like Pidgey? Very few.


In such a giant world of fantasy

With eight-hundred or more creatures to choose

What sort of idiotic, bland dummy

Would see a bird and say “That’s what I’ll use!”


Now to be fair, more credit is deserved.

These Pokémon are loyal with quick wit.

But I repeat: IT’S JUST A FUCKING BIRD.

Gen 5’s ran out of ideas? Not this shit?


I guess Pidove is just a bird as well

But Unfezant’s feathers look sick as hell.

Sorry for the fowler language in this one.