Category: flying

Zubat, Golbat, Crobat

“Dear Trainers, I am now inviting you

To birthday party in Connecting Cave.

Now catch and train me up to level 2.

And trust me, this party will be a rave.”

————

Those foolish trainers trusting “wholesome” notes

Unknowingly they tread into the nest

Of Zubats but without an antidote.

The bats, they keep on coming, there’s no rest.

————

Our research team sent six guys to explore

And count the Zubats, then bring some stats.

One said “there’s over three thousand and four”.

The other five are still encount’ring bats.

————

A Crobat is an unreachable end.

Impossible for these to be your friend.

Spearow, Fearow

When young Ash Ketchum first began his quest

He had some trouble training Pikachu.

In order to become the very best

He knew exactly what he had to do.


Without the help of his electric mouse

He had to weaken ‘mons all on his own.

He threw a rock- and then things headed south.

A flock of Spearow angered by the stone.


They all emerged and then began to chase

And if not for his mouse, Ash would have died.

For Spearow are a mighty, scary race

And once a Fearow, great power’s inside.


These two Pokémon, I’m sure you’ve inferred

Compared to Pidgey, they’re the greater bird.

Pidgey, Pidgeotto, Pidgeot

This Pokémon is just a fucking bird.

And all its moves are things real birds can do.

‘Cause seriously, who has ever heard

Of people who like Pidgey? Very few.


In such a giant world of fantasy

With eight-hundred or more creatures to choose

What sort of idiotic, bland dummy

Would see a bird and say “That’s what I’ll use!”


Now to be fair, more credit is deserved.

These Pokémon are loyal with quick wit.

But I repeat: IT’S JUST A FUCKING BIRD.

Gen 5’s ran out of ideas? Not this shit?


I guess Pidove is just a bird as well

But Unfezant’s feathers look sick as hell.

Sorry for the fowler language in this one.

Weedle, Kakuna, Beedrill

If Caterpie’s a bug that’s not for you

Then take a look at this small hairy thing.

The pointy point, some people say it’s true

That Weedle uses it for poison sting.


The second stage: Kakuna’s not a fool.

He has a sharper point than Metapod.

He also is more edgy and more cool.

And he has such a scaly, rocking bod.


At last the final stage is dear Beedrill.

An awesome Jerry Seinfeld Poké-guy.

He jabs his stinger in and gets the kill.

His mega evolution is real fly.


A super pointy trio are these bugs.

I’d hate to find them living ‘neath my rugs.

Caterpie, Metapod, Butterfree

At last, you’ve chose your partner- off you go!

It’s time to leave your former life behind

And as you search the forests of Kanto

Here is a line of beasts that you could find:


A line of bugs (whose names are up above)

A caterpillar and a butterfly

But how come Metapod receives no love?

‘Cause he is a hardn’ing green-blob guy.


Fair Metapod is popular online

For he, they say, is a far beyond compare

Male genitals reflect in its design

And that I’m sure Gamefreak was not aware.


And trainers, when your friend reaches stage three,

If he shall meet a pink girl, set him free.